Posted by: Chris Davis | February 19, 2010

Death of Common Sense

The original version of this obituary is credited to Lori Borgman and was printed in the Indianapolis Star on March, 15, 1998.  It and has met with many changes since its intial print, but still bears a strong message today.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folds get the job done without fanfare or foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense.  He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain; the early bird gets the worm; life isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn), reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge), and it’s OK to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including feminism, body piercing, whole language, and “new math”.

His health began to decline when he became infected with the “if it only helps one person it’s worth it” virus.  In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal regulation.

He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors.  His health rapidly deteriorated when schools implemented zero tolerance policies.  Reports of a 4-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for hugging a teacher; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;  12-year-old arrested for doodling on her desk, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.  Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.  It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than their victims and federal judges began to adjudicate everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic, but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable judgements and regulations.   Common Sense drew his last breath after getting word of judgements where a burglar has a right to sue for assault when a homeowner defends themself, and a woman is awarded a huge settlement after she spilled a little steaming hot coffee in her lap.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.  He is survived by his 4 step brothers; Rights, Tolerance, Not My Fault, and Ima Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few even realized he was gone.

– Clear skies & tailwinds

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